So Long 2014, Hello 2015

Tencel ScarfIt’s that time of year where it seems absolutely everyone is making the end of year list. The what I made, what I accomplished, what I learned and what happened in the world lists. I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of weeks, how I want to approach my view on what happened in my world in 2014, and quite frankly, it was a mixed bag, like I’m sure it was for most people.

I had the highs – Yay! Congratulations on your marriage! And the very lows – what do you mean my two year old grandson has cancer. Glad to report, another Yay, he’s now considered cancer free after treatment.

Tencel ScarfBut what really rings true for me when I look back on 2014, was it was a year for me to cut out the external distractions so I could focus on what the hell I really want out of what I have left of this life. Once you hit that magical number of 60, your realize you’re no longer “middle aged”, that the number of years left is fewer than the number of years you’ve already had, so I better really get off my ass and accomplish something, anything.

When I really got that picture, it was pretty early in the year, it may have even been a year ago. There were three major decisions I made, that all involved pulling back from volunteer positions within organizations that I’ve been a part of for many years. What that did, was to really begin that process of giving to myself instead of giving away so much of my energy. So then I could really start to focus on creating, and then maybe by the fall, I would actually have something to sell at some craft shows I planned on participating in.

Cat and MonkeyIt was hard to not get distracted. Oh I want to weave now, now I want to sew, now I want to knit, oh and how about diving into drawing and hand lettering, and maybe I should make some filler, cheaper items for the booth. Damn, I didn’t plan on that taking that much time out of being able to make X.

It was a real learning experience to be making a plan and executing it, and at the same time allowing myself the freedom to explore and have fun with making “product” without it becoming drudgery. After all, if I’m going to be self employed, I need to be able to have a good time doing it too.

There were also a few months where I physically couldn’t do some crafts. For almost the first six months of the year, I couldn’t weave. I twisted my ankle on Jan. 2, my birthday, and it was severe enough that I couldn’t push the treadles on my loom. But I made up for it starting in July and wove six scarves in 3 months. I also started knitting again and made 5 scarves in 2 months.

MandalaSo here I am, looking at 2015 and am making some plans, I like that word better than “goals”. I plan on weaving more, knitting more and starting to explore drawing more. I also plan on playing with making toys. It’s been fun to make things for my grandkids, and maybe a wider audience would like them too. I’m also considering getting back into teaching. Passing on the craft is so very important. So we’ll see where these plans take me on my creative journey and if I were to pick a word for what 2015 is going to be, it would be PLAY. I’m going to play with my art, my creativity and my abilities and we’ll see where it takes me. I’m up for it and bring it on.

About fiberdazed

Knitter, spinner, weaver, sewer keeps me busy and has me Fiberdazed.
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2 Responses to So Long 2014, Hello 2015

  1. Great to read this…we have such a match…Im 58 and 1/2 and going thru similar. Invited twice in last couple of years to run a healing organization, no mention of what either position would pay???…and have as well pulled out of volunteering…. Worried that I was becoming way too selfish… But to make the distinction clear… I moved by myself out of state and away from everything I ever knew being a native San Franciscan… really feel who just me the artist is without the draw to volunteer…..give give give…to others organizations…. Working on what years I have left…I find doing my art (and selling it!) is the most peaceful choice…. But am I abandoning all the unwell people that need my help by doing so? Am I still just as worthy by creating art for others to enjoy? and creating income for myself! as I am being engaged in volunteering at various esp healing organizations? Am I dropping the ball on my deal with God? Is it OK to JUST BE an artist? Am I walking away from what really needs getting done? A Breatharian I am not.

    • fiberdazed says:

      Initially I too had difficulty letting go of all the healing work, until I really recognized it was time to heal myself, and the only way I could do that was by giving my time to myself. I consider myself blessed for all the healing work that I’ve learned, and I will always have those abilities, it’s just me time for now. Glad you’ve found how your art is a vehicle for your creative expression and a way for more that just basic survival. Blessings for your new path.

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