I’ve had this feeling that things needed to be different, the nagging feeling that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, that something’s got to give.
I’ve been mulling over all the changes I’d like to make in my creative space. Yes, I have been able to make some things, but it’s been so hit and miss, and sometimes far and few between. I really needed to take a closer look at what’s going on with me. So I sat my ass down, had that heart to heart, and applied a dose of tough love. “You have to make some changes girlfriend, and you need to do it now.”
The lightbulb finally went on!
Bottom line, I’m still putting everyone else’s needs first, and this excessive volunteering has got to stop. By doing for everyone else, I’m not taking the time to work on my needs, my projects and start creating those pieces that I’ve been wanting to make. I also don’t have to worry about failure. Failure to produce and failing to have accolades from other people. It’s time to do this for me.
You’d think it would’ve been obvious. When you’re spending all your Saturdays, and every Tuesday evening for a staff meeting at one volunteer job, then two Thursdays a month and another day doing web updates at another volunteer job that maybe, just maybe, you’ve extended yourself a little too much outward and not enough inward. It creeps up on you, and sometimes you don’t see it until you actually sit down, and slow down for long enough to even look at it. I was more than a little shocked when I put down in writing how many hours a month I was giving away. No wonder I wasn’t accomplishing anything. If I spent that time on my projects and my business well, I might start progressing forward, instead of just spinning my wheels.
So what I’ve done is give notice to those two volunteering jobs. I’ve enjoyed being part of both of those organizations, and I’m still going to be involved as a participant but no longer as a chronic volunteer. The Saturday job goes away at the end of March, and the Thursday job in June. I’m still volunteering my time for the La Honda Fair, so I haven’t completely reformed, but it’s a start and it’ll also be done in June. The way I see it, July is going to be really awesome.
I’m really looking forward to reclaiming my time for myself. I’ve already started getting ready for the incredible surge of creativity that is on the horizon, by cleaning out my studio space. Putting things away that have been sitting there for six months (or longer) and decluttering old boxes of stuff from my previous life. I’ve already found the umbrella I’ve been looking for!
I can’t wait to see where this creative energy is going to take me, now that I’ll have time to focus on it. I do know one thing, I’m ready to drag out the loom, warp that puppy up with the tencel I dyed last fall, and see what kinds of cool scarves come out.
Stay tuned, it’s going to be a wild ride.